Reliving Childhood

I already tackled Alan's favorite childhood movies. Now, for the television shows.

The first show he watched regularly was Blue's Clues. Nick Jr. had recently started to replay the same episode over again for kids, à la Teletubbies.

Alan never seemed to want to pretend to participate in the mysteries. He just liked watching the show.

As he got a bit older, there were other Nickelodeon shows, like all the classic NickToons. These, I could legitimately sit down with him and watch for my own enjoyment, too.

Mom mentioned Starship Troopers. This straightforward alien invasion Heinlein sci-fi book turned sappy anti-war movie was made into a computer animated cartoon, Roughnecks. It was on in the morning before school, and Alan tried not to miss it. This was one of the few television shows that Mom and Alan watched together regularly.

For me, the show that Alan and I shared most was Pokémon. In watching these shows with him, it let me have a second childhood. My actual childhood was a bit rushed. I had skipped two grades, and being a chubby nerdy Korean kid in Appleton already, I stood out. I had to learn to deal with situations at school where I was picked on relentlessly for being different. Even the well-meaning kids trying to be nice could be forceful and intrusive at times. It took a long time, but I grew a tough skin and learned, after years of not being so good at it, to defend myself. By college, it was clear there were two mes, the mature serious rigid adult, and the kid who still wanted to play. Pokémon was the perfect bridge for a 16 year old college student and his 7 year old brother.

At the end of each episode in the early seasons, they played the Pokérap. I can still sing that damned song to this day.

When a Pokémon movie came out, I immediately bought advance tickets for us. John Fahrenbach was going to go with us, but bailed. I guess I wasn't the only college student watching Pokémon.

Alan gave me an excuse to act young, whether that meant 22 or 5. The kid in me still wants to play with him and wants him back. The adult in me is heartbroken by the pain he must have been in, and wants to still take care of him. Both miss him.