Monday, October 20, 2014

A Fish Out of Water

I've written before about the trip Alan and I took to Korea in 2011, but I didn't elaborate much on what we did there. One very meaningful component of the trip involved visiting several Buddhist temples. Even though we were not raised religious, Alan felt a certain affinity to these places. On earlier trips with Mom and Dad, he had met prominent monks, and was given prayer beads that he wore most of the time.

We went to Donghaksa near Daejeon with our eldest aunt one evening. The beginning of the walk from the parking lot was a paved road with vendors on either side, but as we got closer in, these gave way to a path running along side a calm brook nestled in the trees. There was a sense of calm that clearly spoke to Alan, even though he found the juxtaposition of serene/spiritual/ancient and aggressive/commercial/new amusing.

One symbol that we noticed specifically at this temple, though it was present at many, was the fish. There were many fish windchimes along the bottom of many of the structures. In the instrument tower, there, alongside the drum, the cloud gong, and the bell, there is a giant wooden fish. I wish I had better pictures, but here's one I do have.



The symbolism of the fish is strong in Buddhism. I think there are many ways you can look at it. A fish lives in an environment that would drown most things, but it thrives. Its entire body is powerful muscle. It is covered in scales that glint in the sun like coins. It can swim with the current or against it.

I wonder if Alan was like a fish out of water, powerful and beautiful, but out of his element, and every breath a struggle. If so, I wonder if his soul was looking to return to the calm brook from which it came. Alan did have a way of looking into the water, his mind clearly so far away...

Seoraksan

As we walked around the temple grounds, the monks started to play the drum.


2 comments:

  1. "Fish" means self-reflection in Buddhism. Fish do not close their eyes while they are sleeping, even when they die... Buddhists want to achieve spiritual enlightenment through continuous self reflection like fish which always looking inward and outward with open eyes... like Alan he did not close his eyes when he passed and I could not close it for him which bothers me very much. Yes, he was a fish and questions in his mind was always very profound. A great buddhist teacher DoSung looked at him and told me "Raise him well he will do great things for his country Korea". Now what am I going to do? Alan please help me to find my way.

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