Like I love you

Alan liked the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Karen O, the lead singer, is mixed Korean-American. She had a way of looking very uncomfortable, but being comfortable with that, if that makes any sense. There's an awkward charm there, an anti-charisma.

The band's sound is unique, too, with no bassist. They make it work. We used to try to teach Alan to be proud of his heritage, and equally proud of being Korean and white, exploring his Danish heritage (and German and English and a smattering of other stuff), the Iowa in him. When he was little, the school district would only let him put one ethnicity on their demographic forms. One year, they listed, "Other -- Alan." I told them to put "(Cauc)asian." I called him our little rice cracker. And I think Alan was proud of his heritage. His friends would sometimes call him "aran," lightheartedly poking at stereotypes. He ate ebleskiver and kimchi. He was a carnivorous emo panda.


We loved him just the way he was.