What You Need to Live

One of the many songs Alan liked to play over and over again was Time of the Season by the Zombies. This would have been when he was living in DeForest with Mom and Dad.

It's got a funky groove, but after a while, you wonder why they keep making that sound, like someone just had their first gulp of CocaCola or something, and then let out a crisp exhalation through their throat to demonstrate how refreshing it was. Eventually, you want to find this person with their Coke, and knock it out of their hands to get them to stop.

Since Alan has been gone, the stress of losing him has made our lives a lot more complicated. Relationships that were already difficult before have become even harder. Figuring out how to navigate a life after loss is not easy. And everyone's pain, so similar, is also so different, so individual.

Looking back at Alan's life, I know that's not what he would have wanted. He would have hoped that people could come together to support each other. He wouldn't have wanted people blaming each other, relationships falling apart in the aftermath of grief, or people isolating themselves.

He would want us to all come together -- to love one another -- even when it's hard, when it doesn't mean exactly what it did before. He would want us to forgive each other our shortcomings. He would want us to see the good in each other. He would want us to find ways to be there for each other.

It isn't easy, Alan. But we are trying.